Coming Clean

I titled this blog "Getting off the Crack", and aptly so.

This is going to be a frank, unabashed account of my journey towards healthy eating and escaping food addictions. I'll track the trials and tribulations I face daily, my struggles with disordered eating, how I attempt to quash the demons in my head, and (hopefully) the positive strides that I make towards gaining a firm grasp on my dietary behavior.

I've decided to set up this blog (separate from my workout log) to enable me to track my cravings, my moods, all the feelings that can be dimly associated with food, on this blog. It'll help me remain honest and accountable. One time too many I've sat down with a jar of Trader Joe's Almond Butter in one hand and a spoon in the other, solely with the good intention of imbibing a single spoonful for my daily dose of good fats -- lo and behold, five minutes later, half the contents of the jar have mysteriously vanished (into the depths of my gullet, no less). It doesn't even occur to me until I notice that ten minutes have passed as I've sat there, mindlessly shoving almond butter into my piehole. And then guilt and loathing washes over me, which is frankly, quite foul, and something I've had quite enough of. Oh, and for the record, almond butter is a relatively tame example.

I struggle when it comes to food. A lot. More than anyone'd ever think or imagine I do. With portion control, with food choices, with weight, with body composition, with expectations. I don't think anyone has any idea just how much I've wrestled with these issues. I seldom (if ever) broach these issues with others, because I don't like to appear weak. Furthermore, a lot of times people dismiss it as paranoia or unnecessary worrying on my part, since I'm so dialed in and disciplined with regards to CrossFit and performance training, that they figure my food issues are just a figment of my imagination or something I've blown way out of proportion. Truth is, I've faced very real issues, and won't deny them, much as I'd like to myself.

Of late, however, I've actually opened up about some of these issues with a few of my closest friends. They've helped me start on the path towards reevaluating my relationship with food and nutrition, and provided me with the support to tackle this nemesis. I owe it to them to make the effort to effect a positive change in my life. More than anything, I owe it to myself.

In this blog, I'll attempt to tackle head-on the myriad of eating issues that I've struggled with, go into a bit of detail regarding my childhood history as a rotund, haplessly unathletic youngster, and talk about the positive and negative milestones in my life with regards to nutrition habits. More generally, I'll also discuss the proliferation of diets and nutrition advice in popular culture, wax lyrical on the importance of determining the proper macronutrient ratios based on individual goals and pursuits, and ruminate over the concept of food as fuel for our bodies.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.